Black Gay Men’s Blog brings you some sexy black men in this post to lighten things up round here for a minute. It would have been so easy to make this all about eye-candy, but of course, I’m not going to do that LOL. I recently challenged myself to have a real honest look at what I found unattractive and to see if I had conquered certain slightly shallow “prejudices” I had. Nothing too serious – we all have 1 or 2 things we tell ourselves we don’t like and that’s valid, but when it it solely based on physical stuff I like to challenge myself every now and then. Just because I’ve been telling myself the same story for 20 years, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try and change it if it might broaden my dating pool. I’m not getting any younger and I’m looking for someone to share my life with, a life-partner, husband, man – whatever you choose to call it.
So I went on a date with someone with a certain physical attribute I don’t normally go for. Determined to rid myself of one of the last few remnants of my shallow side, I approached it with an open mind. Yes, chemistry is important, but sometimes we have silly little things that can get in the way of really getting to know an individual. We have convinced ourselves for so long that we simply couldn’t live with - “a short man”, “a dude with a gut(even if he is willing to work on it)”, “a man that is beautiful inside and out, but has 6 fingers, or 3 nipples”. OK, I’m having a little fun here – you fill in your own blanks. I went on the date and I had a great time, I got over my little issue(because it was my issue) and got to know a great guy. Great, until I found out he was married – I don’t do those. But the point is I was prepared to get to know him and put the little shallow physical issue aside – a great moment in my self-growth.
If you would indulge me, I’d like you to watch the video below and look at the various sexy black men. They are black men of different shades, sizes and ages – all sexy in their own way and ask yourself which ones you find sexy and why. More importantly, who is NOT sexy to you and why? Are there certain types among these men you find hot? Do you find certain men sexy or not based on any assumptions about what they are like or into? If one of the guys who is not your normal physical type turned out to be a great guy and offered you the world, what would you do? By the world, I mean happiness, stability, love, whatever it is your heart truly desires. Would you turn a guy away because he wore leather(you know the kind of leather like the guy in the video – chaps, cap etc)? If so – why, what does that mean to you? Could you handle a little(or a lot of) gut, if everything else was in place and he was willing to get healthier with you?
Video Of Sexy Black Men
I’ll be interested to hear what some of you have to say. It is just a little something to get us all thinking about what we find attractive and why and the people we turn down, because they might be lacking a certain physical attribute. Men are notoriously visual and gay men more so, I guess because it is two men, we seem to base most of our dating decisions on surface stuff. Is there anything you would be willing to challenge yourself to change? Do you really think you couldn’t have great sex and a good life with someone just because they didn’t fit your regular “type”? How many men who fit your regular physical type have been really nice to you in the last 2 or 3 years, how many could you call on if you had a problem? Is sticking to your physical type getting in the way of love and happiness? Have you ever REALLY looked at why you don’t like whatever it is you say you don’t like? Over the last few years, I have been challenging myself to get rid of some of these issues that have been getting in the way. I’m not saying I have gotten rid of all them – there are some things we just don’t like, but I try to at least understand why I am turned off by certain things.
By the way, I tried to find some guys that were much bigger(or as some of us say thicker), but I couldn’t find any that I had permission to use. I will be on the look out for some sexy thicker(and skinnier) men in the very near future. Thanks to BlackStudSociety.net for the images. Once this weather gets better, we will be all over NYC taking our own pics, so we can have a variety to choose from for discussions like these. We would love to hear from photographers and studios, who don’t mind their images appearing on Black Gay Men’s Blog.
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Good subject and post. I would not mind working with you on some more photos for once the weather does get warmer.
If your sexual desires are too out there for me, no matter
how great everything else is, we just would not make it. It
could very well just be MY issue or hangup, but I’m just
keeping it real. If you gotta piss on me, shit on me, spit
on me, then you can shonuff BYPASS me, because “taint gon’
happen”….not with me, it ain’t anyway!!! The physical, is
not always exact. I could say I would never be interested in
a shorter guy, then make the acquaintance of some shorter Brotha
who charms the pants off me, literally a-n-d figuratively. It’s
your sexual proclivities that would be more the deciding factor
for me.
WOW LMAO – u just took it all the way there didn’t you!
Yeah, I think if I met someone who was into some stuff I found too bizarre that would be a deal breaker! I hadn’t even thought about sexual proclivities, was just thinking about little physical stuff. Now you’ve made me think…….
I used to be all typical no fats no fems & all dat BS. ain’t yet down with the fems, BUT lemme tell y’all – the BEST sex I ever had was with this thick sexy-azz muthaf… Shit was so damn good I stayed 9 months. Since then I’m like bring on dat thickness baby!
I’m with Bruh Again – some of the weird sexual stuff ain’t 4 me. I’ll piss on a dude but that’s about it – no whips collars chains poop and all that other stuff.
oh 1 more thing – dude in the leather I’ll pass on him coz when I see that shit I think they into whips and collars and all that kinky stuff.
As a rule I’m not really feeling short men, I find them too much trouble BUT b4 u shoot me down I should say I’m getting over that rule. I did date a nice guy and he was only 5.6″ – turned out to be too downlow for me so it wasn’t because of the height. He was a handful though, so I don’t know. I’m generalizing but maybe their height makes them wanna be loud and stuff. OK kill me now LOL I said it – I find short men loud and argumentative etc. I know it can’t be all, but that has been my experience. I never even would go on a date with a short dude, but at least now I’m open. If u are short and reading this, don’t mean to offend, maybe you’ll be the one to prove me wrong! Guts don’t bother me no more – used to, then like DLMaxMD some thick dude rode me like a southern skripper & I was hooked!
Sorry for any mistakes in this comment rushing to get out of work.
LMAO – Farrell I’m a short due myself 5’7 and personally I don’t find myself argumentative, however lol, there have been a few times when it has been so. I find some tall guys can be argumentative because they like to be intimitating, but these guys usually turn out to be tops, which I know, is another discussion on this blog.
I thought they were all attractive, except two. Not sure what that says about me.. lol
it says u are an uncontrollable SL.. – nah just kidding! I think it says you are probably open-minded, which is always a good thing!
If you have too many tattoos or long hair (dread locks or a perm), that is not a neatly maintained afro, then you gets no action…lol. Those are my two big pet peeves.
I really like someone who is clean and maintained. That is why I found the bald, and clean cut, guys more appealing (especially the hunky guy posing in the ocean). However, I’m sorta high maintenance so I prefer guys to be a little bit low maintenance (that way I don’t have to jockey for bathroom time, haha). Also I tend to date guys that are really tall…But I am like 5’6 so everybody is taller than me.
Otherwise deal breakers would be: extreme kink (if you like pain, piss, or poo during sex then up out my face…ALL the way); open and polyamorous relationships (glorified terms for fucking around); unemployment (if you are unemployed then you are not ready for a boyfriend); and somebody who hates cats (I love them).
Well, thanks for that! I saw something sexy in each man, but personally I love a man in a suit. The rest, we can work on, also I think this post ties in with the ‘It’s Time to Ditch the Age Box’ post.
I find arrogance, the down-low and thuggish behavior very unattractive.
I don’t mean to be mean, but I wish the “ghetto” thug look would go away. A clean cut, charming and well-spoken “brotha” with a nice smile would rock my boat.
hmmmm well seems on one is interested in that! they think because you are clean cut, well dressed, etc then you are stuck up! maybe that’s just here in Oklahoma!
Lol I must be crazy but I can find alm0st any guy attractive but N0t Every guy.For me it’s about how he makes me feel and chemistry and his pers0nality and the way he holds himself.If he makes me feel go0d,I am g0nna reflect it and do the same to him.
I have a very selective taste which is very hard to understand. What I like on one man I won’t like on the next if he is smaller/bigger or lighter/darker. But I will admit there aren’t too many lightskined brothers that I don’t like.
There is a bit of irony in this post. Just last week I was chatting at a happy hour over beers regarding the ‘type’ of guys we preferred(physically). All of course brought on by the lack of anyone there any of us found hot.lol. This being the reverse made me think harder to try and keep the list short.lol. I will leave the sexual proclivities out of this list,as they are rendered non issues if you put down ‘NO’ markers.
I stand 6’3″ so guys shorter then 5’7 are ‘overlooked’ in the interest of comfortable kissing and cuddling.Guys unkempt or too perfect(product/makeup) are less desireable then the regular man, just the same as the extremes of too thin or obese.Thick is hot, fem or thug is not.That in the name of brevity is about all I’d have on my not preferred list. It leaves a huge middle of almost any real men. Average works but I’d never call them that.
be careful my brothers because this was not too indicative of all black men.
be careful my brothers because all these men are still “typically” hot albeit of a certain type
be careful my brothers because the true test (i hope) should (will?)follow:
where are ‘extreme’ queens with heavily plucked eyebrows and loads of blusher and lipstick?
where are ‘extreme’ leather queens being fisted and pierced? and more?
where are ‘extreme’ fats or femmes who really make us question our desire?
where are ‘extreme’ small dicked men (as despite the desire to conceal size it remains/remaimed implied that size was big (just look at the size of the censored stars or the uncensored bulge in the concealing briefs)?
where are ‘extreme’ bodies – amputees, so called deformities (birth defects/deficencies/downs syndrome, etc) and flaws (goofiness/acne/glasses/obesity/stretch marks/old age wrinkles, etc)
where are the scuzzy black men, homeless and/or down on their luck, dirty and unkempt? (and you know know i am not talking about thugs or downlowers)
where are the high profile, suited and booted executives who run highly profibable companies?
i could go on but, do you get me? this was far from fair as all the mens were, it should be admited, hot of a certain (small) type.
show us real queens, bears, leather queens, etc before you can claim to force us to question our desire.
I tend to be attracted to guys shorter, smaller and younger than me. I’ve discovered all these preferences are about CONTROL (not an issue that I’m proud of). However, I had one partner who was a few inches taller than me. And to my wide surprise, I discovered that his height and the size of his hands to be a turn on in bed.
As opposed to most gay men I’ve met, I find slightly fem men and men that are androgynous in appearance to be HOT. I’m turned off by “butch icons” (hyper-masculine in appearance or behavior). Don’t get me wrong. I can be attracted to ordinary masculine guys.
I ran that line, “I prefer my coffee black, like my men”, in front of my sister once. She immediately added, “I’ve seen the guys you’ve been with. Most of them have a little milk in them.” (LOL – She got me). She was correct. Though, I’ve seen some gorgeous dark skin guys, I’m usually attracted to light skin guys. Skin color is a relative thing. I’ve described myself as brown skin for most of my life. It came as a huge surprise to me that most people consider me light skin or redbone.
I’m with Clarence. The guys in the slide show weren’t a diverse showing of black men. Most of the guys appeared to be body builders AND looked like models. Americans are fatter, in general, than the average American was twenty or thirty years ago. After you (Storm) specifically posed the question, “Could you handle a little(or a lot of) gut, if everything else was in place…”, I expected to see a broad range of body types in the slide show. Muscle-bound guys are a turn off to me. I’m much more attracted to guys who’ve invested more time and energy on their own self discovery than to guys who are heavily invested in looking good naked.
If I find a guy whose face I find appealing, he certainly doesn’t need to be body beautiful.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that black guys with freckles make me weak in the knees. (*smile*) I also find improperly healed small facial scars very attractive, for some reason.
Major turn offs include smokers, heavy drinkers, drug users, double chins, leather freaks, lack of political awareness, silliness, club fingers, dirty talk during sex, morbidly obese guys and all the kinky stuff that Bruh Again mentioned.
Reconsider your thinking. There is not such thing as a gay person. Gay is not a person. Gay is an act of same or opposite gender relations of the same charge. People in same-sex relation, if this is a relation of opposite charge, are Intersex. Intersex aside from a relation is also a person born of charge to gender variance where as the coined term unisex is a person born of equated charge to gender according to biological models of genders. Thus, same-sex relations fit the law of attraction in a relation of opposite charge. As a general notion, an individual born Intersex is a product of procreation between opposite genders; thus, theoretically implying a vector differentiation among opposite gender relations resulting in inverted charge to gender individuals.
THERE-IS-SOMETHING-ABOUT-A-THICK-ASS-DUDE [said slowly for emphasis] Forget about power bottoms and dick whores for a minute. I once shunned them, but a tryst with a thick brotha left me on the floor panting for about 5 minutes after an earth-shattering orgasm [sighs]
I believe in HEALTHY WEIGHT in a man- not overweight, but healthy weight that you can use advantageously during sex and foreplay, cuddling etc. I am with many of y’all—> away with the smokers [ashtray much?], drug abusers, heavy drinkers, and the men into intense sexual fetishes and having such proclivities. Leather can pass in some cases.
Physical attractions:- dark skin [although ALL races, hues, ethnicities and shades are welcomed], thickness, baldness, well-groomed hair, great smile, a healthy physique
Deal-breakers- WAAAAAAAAAY 22222 MANY tattoos. Case in point- Soulja Boy. LOVED when dude just came on the scene. HATE what his body has now morphed into, looking like a freaking piece a tapestry. Can’t stand a man that has saggin’ pants [even if the ass is RITE]. Muscle-bound men- I believe in a toned body, not one that looks like it could break me and whatever surface we are having sex on.
That’s about it for me.
First i want to tell you what my partner said to me after I asked him to change his appearance(lose a few pounds). “If i wanted that man (the thick brothers) go get him”. Of course he said this joking but I just thought it was funny the way he said it to me. Mind you he is from the country and at he will he uses his country twang. But really beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Who would have thought me all of 5’5 120 would end up with a 5’9 220 pound dude. Funny right ,lol while I use to only date the 6’4 220 type dudes in my past but I seem to run over them. Mississippi the name i call my partner; came into my life taking no prisoners. We both came to the end result that none of the men shown here was all that. Well i did find a few of the thick ones to me nice but not their face. I guess I’m saying we as black gay men say we want the thug or the “DL” type dude. But really we all just want some to love us and enlighten our lives. and for Farrel all short men are not trouble; they may just be the best thing in your life. (side bar) as i type this Mississippi is saying they (short dudes) just need to be TAMED!!!!!) As my boy friend gives back my lap top just like all thick dudes they just need someone to keep them in line and we short dudes tend to know how to do that well.
Well, the very first brother in the video lit up my face like a Christmas tree, because he looked “sweet” as in “likeable.” It helped that he had a slight smile and later on he was smiling more.
What I find unattractive is more an approach: a brother who comes up to me who knows nothing about me and acts as though he actually knows who I am, and if I won’t give him the time of day, turns rude and tries psychological games on me (“Oh, I see. You don’t like niggas…..you must be into white boys”) at which point I say, “My mother’s half white, half indian. Most of my cousins can pass for white, so I suppose I’ve beeing seeing white in my own family most of my life. If I was into white boys, I’d a married one of my 3rd cousins. Now suppose we just say goodbye.” I don’t like the whole thug approach, because frankly, it’s ANGRY. There’s no room for becoming enlightened about each other and that’s a complete turn-off for me. Instantly.
Physically, I like African looking brothers (the guy from Amistad) but not refined looking brothers (Denzel, Blair Underwood don’t do it for me). I like curvy guys, but not obese, because erotic desire is what it is: it can’t be faked. I don’t particularly go for the “ab-6-pak” type guy, because I was that back in the 70s and 80s and I was never into looking in the mirror. I was (mostly) that way because I was built like my dad, who could match most of these guys (he had a 30″ waist until he was 53, as I was constantly reminded by my mother) on the site. My father was also very African looking, by the way. Did I already say the thug look doesn’t work for me, but if he was, underneath it all, sweet and gentle, well….that’s a different story.
And finally, my fetish is for sexy feet. That would pretty much override my common sense — for about 3 dates. After that, the questions about character would start flying: how do you feel about white people (since part of my family IS white, that’s a big deal for me. The wrong answer and you’re history, and the wrong answer is: “I can’t stand ‘em.” How anyone could dismiss, for example, 30 million Swedes (who are white), when they are some of the least biased people on the face of the earth, simply because they have white skin, is beyond me. Sorry, off-subject there.
Spirituality and a Big Picture way of seeing the world is a must: small-mindedness is a turnoff. Bad boundaries is a turn off. Someone who thinks kissing is only something you do to get sex gets a here’s-the-door-what’s-your-hurry statement from me.
Hmmmm…did I leave anyone standing? (smile)
HAHAHAH.. seems like most of you like a thick bruh?!?!? well damn, i guess i’m out of the question for many of ya’ll!! I’m 5’8, 130lbs..
But anyways, I am attracted to all Black Men! The skin tone, the muscles, the shape, smell, the very essence of a man is what turns me on! That’s in some ways why i don’t mess with fem dudes! Don’t have anything against them, my good friend is fem! I just prefer not to mess with them! Besides i’m a TOTAL bottom and the TOPS that are fem i just can’t get with!
I am sorry because i do have a weakness for thugs and the thug look! It just so happens that all of the 3 men that i have been in a relationship with have all been thugs!! Prison record and whole body full of tatt’s! Not bragging or boasting just giving details on how they looked! I believe that the “thugs” are given a bad rep! The 3 men that i was with where OH SOOOOOO NICE to me! Treated me how i wanted to be treated and to me by far the best sex i have ever had!! Just like any man the reason why they are my ex’s now is because of THEM being unfaithful!
I’m really not too picky when it come to attractivness in BLACK dudes. I like all flavaz of chocolate, all shapes all sizes. I like the “wall street” CEO types to the “fresh out jail” covered in tat2 and ready to fuck a bitch up at the drop of a dime types. Bald heads to long “locz”. My first relationship was with a VERY dark skin’d dude from the UK (I myself am a dark skin’d dude) clean cut and had a very high paying job. My current relationship is with a fair skin’d afro latino ex-con a with body full of tatz, long locz and a “blue collar” job… honestly I think I tend to be more shallow when I dated non-”black” dudes they all had to be big slong tops with a “fya” ass body, extremely good looks and a bank account to match.
Mmmm. dreads. ;]