Inspired by a quote from Oprah’s Master’s Class, Black Gay Men’s Blog encourages black gay men to place less emphasis on physical looks and self-image.
The essence of who I am has nothing to do with what I look like - Oprah Winfrey, Oprah’s Master Class on OWN
Men are visual and there is a great emphasis on looks amongst black gay men (and gay men in general). A lot of us are so focused on what we look like and how we are perceived physically, that our physical and outer appearance often takes precedence over substance. Even some of us, who pride ourselves on not being shallow (myself included), often struggle with self-image issues. This is not surprising, considering the fact that looks, sex and the size of certain body parts seem to matter more than depth of character, kindness, intelligence and honesty.
Watching and listening to Oprah talk about the early days of her career, when she was advised to have cosmetic surgery, really hit home. I have nothing against cosmetic surgery (I have seriously considered it myself, but that’s another blog post), I think if it is really going to make you feel better about yourself, you should go for it. However, I think placing such a huge emphasis on looks, which are going to fade anyway(no matter how many trips we make to the plastic surgeon) and holding physical appearance in higher regard than what really matters is something a lot of us need to look at. If all we are going to be remembered for are our looks and the size of our penises and backsides, how fulfilling a life could we truly have lived? Get to know and love your true inner self and take the time to discover the essence of other black gay men and anyone else you come into contact with.
No related posts.
At the same time, this whole blog is filled with photos of guys who have what would be considered ideal body types. I understand fully well that these photos are attractive and serve to entice readers to read the articles, but your short blog entry doesn’t do much to combat woes of physical insecurity when basically every article besides this one features several photos of men who’ve managed to get their bodies to comply with the demanding standards of godly beauty that have caused even yourself to consider painful and expensive cosmetic surgery.
Good point! All entries in the “thoughts and quotes” sections are meant to be short(and don’t get listed on the main page of the blog), however it is something we will be looking at in more detail. As far as the photos go, at the moment, we can only use photos we have permission to use, due to copyright issues etc. I have approached a couple of photographers with the view to either shooting our own photos with different body types, or using their images. Actually, most articles do not have “several” photos, usually just one, unless it is the “eye-candy” section, which as you correctly guessed is used to entice readers to the blog. Your point has been duly noted, though, and the blog is still young, so we’ll get there.
I am fairly new to the site and first off wanted to thank you for your efforts in providing a stimulating place of thoughtful discusssion, fraternal sharings and reaffirmation. I am looking forward to my continued enjoyment of one of the few authentic sites for any gay men, notably black gay men.Already I have spread the word to a few of the men in my circle of ‘family’ in the hope they will find it helpful and stimulating as well.
Perhaps the visuals could be enhanced here by less reliance on the ‘model level eye candy’ and more on the same guys who read and contribute here.Of course, most of us would be regular/average guys and not model quality but afterall, aren’t we also trying to celebrate everyone? Maybe if there were room to add tasteful pictures of ourselves,those who post/reply on a regular basis? If this were not possible with our personal post, perhaps a whole new section listed under ‘member readers as eye candy’ (with a small contribution to defray cost). I for one would enjoy seeing the men whose ideas I am listening to,enhancing the entire experience.
Well again, thank you for the stimulating subjects and thoughtful discussions.
Reading this I was put in the same mind frame as BThompson, yes there is a lot of eye candy on the site but where are the pics of the “Everyday” man. Those of us who don’t spend half of our week inside the gym. I digress, Gay culture definitely puts emphasis on the wrong aspects of individuals which is sad as most of these things will fade over time. Looking past physical appearances begins with the individual learning not to put so much emphasis on their own appearance, as we should exemplify what we want others to do.
I think this has already been answered. Everyday pics have to be taken or licensed, we don’t use unauthorized pictures on this blog. If some of you would like to submit your pictures for use on the blog, we will gladly use them. That way, we are working together to find a solution. I love all the suggestions, but try getting people to work together to put them into practice. Unfortunately, until there is more consistent help and/or revenue from advertising, this blog is still very much run and funded by myself with the odd moments of assistance from others.