Black Gay Men’s Blog introduces you to Camron, a 37 year old bisexual black male, who says he is looking for love, but biphobic black gay men only want him and other bisexuals for sex. He reached out to the blog because he says there is no love for the B in LGBT and he wanted to tell his story. Camron’s views on love, commitment, black gay men and what bisexuality means to him are interesting, to say the least, if somewhat twisted. At first, I was convinced he was joking, but he is as serious as they come – you guys will just have to read it. This was not your usual interview, he wanted the opportunity to have a frank discussion with me and get honest feedback from you guys. He said he wanted raw, brutal honesty so that he could better understand the issues black gay men have with bisexual brothers like himself. Hopefully, that’s what he will get. So, let’s go inside the mind of a bisexual black male, who wants more love from black gay men.
- Storm: Hey Camron, how are you? Welcome to Black Gay Men’s Blog and thank you for the opportunity to have this discussion with you.
- Camron: I’m doing great my man, thank you for allowing me to share what I have to say with you and the rest of the readers. It’s something that has been bothering me for a while now and I feel like I gotta say something.
- Storm: Before we jump in to your experiences and why you decided to share your story, please give us some background. When did you realize you were bisexual, have you had any relationships with men and where do you normally meet the guys you connect with?
- Camron: OK, well as I told you when I first contacted the blog, I’m a 37 year old black professional male, I run my own business and I first realized I was bisexual when I was 22 and in the marines, but I didn’t accept it til 5 years ago when I was 32. I guess you could say I had an affair with one of the officers, but you know, don’t ask don’t tell. We did our thing for about 6 months, he was sent off somewhere else and that was that. It was very intense, but I just got on with my life. When I got back home I dated chicks and every now and then I would have sex with some other DL bruh, but still considered myself straight. I went to grad school in Atlanta, so when I got the urge for some man to man sex, it was easy to find – there’s a lot of downlow dudes at Morehouse. After grad school, I just carried on dating females and having sex with dudes on the side. 5 years ago I met the first dude(other than the officer, but I had blocked that out) that I guess I had a real emotional connection with and I had to admit certain things about myself. I think I fell in love with him, but he wasn’t available to have the kind of relationship I wanted. Since then I started looking at men differently, I have accepted that I am bisexual and want to have a relationship with a dude. I don’t go to gay bars and clubs, so I meet guys mainly online and at straight clubs and hotels and business events, because I travel a lot.
- Storm: So what is your story, what is it that has been bothering you? You wanted this dialog with Black Gay Men’s Blog, because?
- Camron: I wanted to have this discussion with you and hopefully get some feedback from your readers, because I’m pissed. I’m pissed at black gay men for being biphobic and not giving bisexual brothers like myself a fair chance, when it comes to love. I’m so fed up of everybody talking about the LGBT community, but there ain’t no love for the B in LGBT – bisexuals! If this so called LGBT community is supposed to be inclusive, why is it so hard for a brother like me to find love with a black gay man? Most black gay men think you are either gay or straight, so they give me a hard time, or they just want the sex. Anytime I offer a dude I meet the chance to really get to know me, he ain’t interested, they just wanna take the sex and run. Like for real, I want you and your readers to be honest with me. You are known to speak your mind, so speak your mind, don’t hold back. Why do black gay men have no love for bisexuals and only want sex, when I am offering a committed relationship? I mean, look at me – I ain’t bad looking, I got my own business and all that, I just wanna find a strong, conscious, intelligent, upwardly mobile black gay man to settle down with. Why does my being bisexual have to be such a big issue?
- Storm: I can’t speak for all black gay men, but I find it hard to believe that you can’t find a black man to date you. You are a good-looking brother, you have your own business, so it has to be something else. I don’t know you well enough to question your personality, but maybe it has nothing to do with you being bisexual and more to do with how you treat these men, or something you say, when you meet them. I know quite a few black gay men, who would have no problems dating a bisexual. In fact, some would find that quite hot – but that’s another show. You also keep saying you want to find a black gay man to settle down with, if you think black gay men aren’t giving you any love, why don’t you try dating a bisexual like yourself? If I met a caring, sane, black man and we clicked, the fact that he was bisexual wouldn’t be an issue, if he was ready to commit to me. I’m thinking it has to be something else that is turning off these men.
- Camron: So would you date me? Say we met, under different circumstances, we hooked-up the first night and it was all good. You know I’m bisexual and everything and then I ask you out to dinner. At dinner you ask me what I’m looking for and I tell you. I’m looking for a black gay man (because I prefer not to date bisexual men) to have a real relationship with, to commit to, one that understands that I am bisexual, so I am going to have a woman, but that doesn’t stop me from loving or committing to you. I would be there for you, just like your man should and when it is our time together, it’s just you and me. When it is her time, it’s me and her. The guy I’m committed to would have the upper hand over the woman, because he would know about her. She wouldn’t know about him, because black females can’t deal with bisexual men and it’s looking like black gay men can’t either, but I would be totally honest with you, speaking hypothetically, if it was you. I wouldn’t lie to you, I would spend my time with her and the kids and then come spend time with you. I don’t date bisexual men anymore, because I get kinda jealous, I don’t want my man seeing anyone else. What’s so wrong with that? My pipe game is on point as is my head and booty game – I’m vers for the right dude. So why can’t I find a strong, conscious, intelligent, honest brother like yourself to date me and build a life together?
- Storm: (laughs really loud) Oh now I get it! Hell NO, I wouldn’t date you! Are you serious, I mean really, or is this some kind of joke? I wouldn’t date you, not because you are bisexual, but because you are a greedy, selfish bisexual. I don’t know any strong, conscious, aware, intelligent, honest and whatever else is on your list black men, who would date you. The problem is not your bisexuality, the problem is the fact that you want something you are not prepared to offer. I wouldn’t date you even if you considered yourself gay, it’s not about the label, it’s about the principle, or lack thereof. You keep using the word commit, but you think being bisexual means you can’t commit to one person. Somehow, you have deceived yourself into thinking being bisexual means you must have both at the same time. That’s called being polyamorous! The difference here is that you would be deceiving the female, she would have no idea she was married or committed to a greedy bisexual with a man in his life. You would be better off finding another polyamorous bisexual man and a woman, who was cool with it and you could all be together. There is an organization, Polyamourous NYC for members of the LGBT community, check them out. Oh, but you don’t want the people you are “committed to” to be involved with anyone else. Do you know how selfish and delusional that sounds?
- Camron: See, now you are being judgmental, that’s the problem I always have with brothers. At least, I am honest and I know what I can handle and what I can’t handle. I can’t handle anyone I am involved with having sex with someone else. It’s not like dude will be seeing wifey, she will be in another state. My business has offices in 2 states, he will be in one, she will be in another. Two separate lives. I don’t see what’s wrong with that. Why should I want him to see other people? I won’t be sexing any other men, so why should he? That’s why I don’t want a bisexual, because then I would have to deal with the fact that he might have a wife or baby momma. I don’t want whoever I am with seeing anyone else period – man or woman! Plus, the way I look at it, I will be providing a certain quality of life, so why can’t I call the shots?
- Storm: You asked me to speak my mind, I’m speaking my mind. We agreed right from the start that this wasn’t going to be a regular interview. If you don’t want honesty, you can look elsewhere, you came here for honesty – from me and from the other readers. I’m not going to massage your ego and say all the right things, when you are clearly delusional. Let me explain why I think you are delusional. There is nothing wrong with you having a clear idea what you want and what kind of relationship you want, that’s your prerogative. The problem is that you want it from a strong, conscious, aware, upwardly mobile, HONEST black man. The chances of that happening are pretty slim. Why would a strong, intelligent, conscious, black gay man want to put up with you, you don’t even want someone like yourself? Also, if he is upwardly mobile, than your point about providing a certain quality of life is null and void. A strong, conscious, upwardly mobile black gay man would have his own damn job or business. Do you see why it sounds delusional? Look, Camron, you are a good-looking brother, you have your own business, you are not dumb, just a little confused and twisted, when it comes to relationships. Why not find a black gay man with low self-esteem, who needs a sugar-daddy? That would work perfectly! Or get over your selfish, controlling ways and find a polyamorous man and woman – that way everybody is happy. Stop blaming black gay men, when the issue is with you. You want a strong, honest, black gay man to co-sign your deceitful lifestyle, because you are not strong enough to stand up and live your truth openly and honestly. You can find a black gay man, I just don’t think you can find one with all the extra qualities you want.
- Camron: WOW! I guessed I asked for that huh? I ain’t mad at you! I just don’t think you and most black gay men understand bisexuality – a bisexual needs both. Just because I’m having sex with two people at the same time, doesn’t mean I can handle them doing the same. I have thought about the polyamorous thing, but I don’t think I can handle that. As far as being deceitful, men have had men on the low forever, I don’t see the big deal. What’s wrong with wanting to have a regular family? It ain’t like wifey is really gonna have my heart, but she gets the title and he gets my heart, I don’t see the issue. I have a stronger emotional connection to dudes, I have admitted that, but I still like the kitty-kat every once in a while and I want to have a family. What is wrong with that?
- Storm: Well, I disagree with you. I know bisexuals, who don’t need both at the same time. You are just greedy – and that’s okay, but just admit that you are a greedy bisexual, who wants to have his cake and eat it too. Now I see why black gay men won’t date you – at least, not the type you go after. You need to lower the bar and you’ll do just fine. Seriously, I get the impression that the REAL reason you came here is because deep down in the midst of all that selfishness and greed, there is someone who truly wants happiness, but you just don’t have the right tools to stir yourself in the right direction. Whether that is true or not, is for you to decide. At least, now you have an idea why the type of black gay men you are into don’t seem interested in you. That is, from my perspective anyway.
- Camron: So what, now you are done with me, interview over? (laughs) I don’t see why you think it is so impossible for a strong bisexual black man to have a committed relationship with a strong black gay man.
- Storm: I never said that, I said the chances of YOU getting the kind of black gay man you find attractive or desirable were slim. I actually don’t think you are strong, when it comes to relationships. You are probably a nice person, a great business man, you excelled at school, but that doesn’t make you strong, conscious or honest, which is what YOU require in a potential partner. When it comes to relationships, you seem to be a bundle of contradictions and you want what you can’t offer. I think you need to work on those issues first and not blame your inability to find a long-term relationship on black gay men or the LGBT community. And FYI, I have no problems with the B in LGBT.
- Camron: Hmmm, well I’d be lying if I said you hadn’t given me something to think about, but I wanna hear what the readers have to say. I know there gotta be dudes like me out there, or the kind of man I’m looking for. Storm, thank you for your time and for being honest, sometimes it’s good to hear that. Even though, I think you would have been nicer to me if I was a junkie (laughs) – I’m just joking! It’s been real man, thanks a lot.
- Storm: It certainly has been different! Thank you Camron for sharing! I’m sure readers will chime in and give you their take on your issues with black gay men. Talk to you soon.
Alright people, so there you have it. Camron would like to hear from you guys. As crazy as it sounds, I’m sure there are people out there who would be willing to accept what he is offering. What is your take on it? Do you think black gay men have a problem with bisexuals, or do you think in this case Camron is the one with the issues? Of course, there are some black gay men, who would never date a bisexual brother, I’m not disputing that. There are also some black gay men who don’t believe in bisexuality at all – we know that. However, as far as Camron is concerned, I don’t think black gay men are to blame for not being inclusive of bisexuals.
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I will date him..
No offense, but he probably doesn’t want someone who only writes 4 words. He should want you, but his list is so long. That’s the irony of the situation. Camron, u see, some black gay men would date u.
your response screams ‘doormat’!
Camron, you tripping man! I don’t think u are gonna find the kind of man you want. Like Storm said, you need to lower the bar.
Of course there are black gay men who will date you, but you gotta at least take the strong and honest off your list. There are guys who have that fetish for men who have sex with women, they will happily date you.
Good luck with that!
If, as a homosexual black male seeking a monogamous relationship with another black male. Why would i want to be with someone who also wants to be with someone else… let alone a female? That’s a no brainier. I don’t date bisexual men because in the back of my mind i believe that he’s going to one day wake up and want to be with a women and have a kids and leave me behind. Like a ticking time bomb…
Camron, you asked for honesty and I think you got it. You seem to have a really huge ego. What makes you think a strong, intelligent, honest black man would put up with you being with someone else AND deceiving that individual? I guess you think because it is a woman, it is ok.
You come across as selfish, immature and arrogant – and I’m not saying that to insult you. I just think you need to do some growing up, then reeavulate your love life. There must have been some cognitive process used to expand your business, use some of that and some therapy to work on those issues, because you, my brother, are not making much sense. Or, like others have said, lower the bar. Get some dude who just wants to be kept.
I’ll bite and I am going to be completely honest.
Disclaimer: In this reply I’ll be making sweeping generalizations; however, as they say, “experience is the best teacher.”
Speaking for myself…
I will never deal with another bisexual man (outside of a strictly platonic relationship)ever again They say never say never but I’m going to say NEVER. I’ve been down that road twice and the 3rd time will NOT be the proverbial charm!
It is my experience that the majority (and I will wager and say 99%, and that is a generous guesstimate)of bisexual men only want to have their cake and eat YOURS too!
I’ve never known or dated a bisexual man who did not want an open or polyamrous relationship. The bulk of them feel like they are ENTITLED to indulge their every whim. When dealing with a dude of this sort nothing about the relationship is static. The terms are ALWAYS changing. You can either deal with it or not. Your feelings are secondary to the person in question getting his rocks off.
Be that as it may…
I’m not going into specific detail about my two failed relationships with bisexual men; however, I will give you the low down on why, outside the context of friendship, or even a fleeting sexual relationship, I will never entertain the notion of love and romance.
First of all you never know WHEN the other shoe will drop and inevitably it WILL. With a bisexual man nothing is ever static. The dynamic is always changing so the relationship is comfortable for HIM (you or US do not factor into the equation).
True, in the beginning, you two may be all lovie dovie and committed but eventually, if he is a bonafide bisexual, he’s gonna want some fish on his plate. Once his urges begin to manifest themselves again he will, in all likelihood, suggest, “Hey, you wanna do a threesome with a woman?” To which you’ll reply, “Uhm…ew?” Then once you seriously talk about it and your (as the gay half of the relationship)decision remains the same. So, in all likelihood the bisexual male is going to go on the low and get some girl sex somekind of way. Moreover, if he likes it he is going to keep on going back for it (i.e. if its nice he’s gonna do it twice). Eventually something is going to happen between him and the woman he is seeing behind your back. Either he’ll get her knocked up (trapped, for life. That is how is usually happens)and you wind up playing the dutiful “stepmother” or he’s going to decide he wants a more “conventional” life (this is prevelant mainly with black bi men)and start seriously dating or marry her. Either way you WILL be the one left alone and crying…
Or, you maybe fortunate enough to meet the bisexual type who is straight up with his desires to have it ALL his way or nothing. This type will suggest either an open or polyamorous relationship. He still wants you but wants a woman as well.
Now, this is fine if you don’t mind allowing your man to be on a rotation, while you wait around at home. Oh, don’t think for the last second that he generally means it when he says the relationship is “open”. It is open for HIM, not you (are you kidding?).
Again, if you can stand that then this is the type of relationship for you.
Myself? I couldn’t. That is why I blew the coop.
Again, I am generalizing like hell but I’ve been there. When you are with a bisexual man you’re fortunate if you even get HALF of him. Honestly, the only way I think they can be in relationships is to be coupled up with a man and a woman at the sametime.
Honestly, I am not trying to villify bisexual brothas. But if you are a gay man looking for a monogamous STABLE relationship it is best to steer clear of a bisexual man. No matter how good his intentions are he will want to indulge his desires. It is human nature. Granted, this could be applied to gay men as well BUT, at least with another gay man, you don’t have to worry about all of those other variables.
Again (lol), this is from experience. I dealt with two bisexual men and that is a WRAP for me with them!
For the record I did not read the full interview until after I posted and Camron proved me absolutely CORRECT! LOL. They all follow the same script!
I know you did say you were speaking only from your own experiences and generalizing, but I refuse to believe all bisexuals think that way. Just like not all gay men are obsessed with sex and fashion.
I do have a bisexual friend, who believes in one monogamous relationship at a time, he is just open to either gender and will take love wherever he finds it. I think the greedy bisexuals give all the others a bad name. Or is that just me being the eternal optimist that I am?
Ooh my apologies for my bad grammar. I did not read over my entry…haha.
Be that as it may…
I’ve yet to meet a bi-guy that did not vary from the script.
If someone can genuinely make it work with one then more power to them. But I’d rather be by myself than try another relationship with a bisexual man.
Again, I’d love to be proven wrong. I really would.
I totally disagree, you must never make a sweeping generalization from 2 experiences. I’ve been cheated on by 4 men, I do not generalize that all black gay men cheat. I’ve dealt with a few racist attitudes but again I do not generalize all non-black people.
Simple Truth
There is a HUGE difference between a Bisexual Man and a greedy Bisexual Man. Do all versatile guys need to be with both a bottom and a top to feel fulfilled? It sounds to me that Camron, and most greedy bisexual men are egomaniacs. What if I’m biracial? Do I get to date two people of my different races?
You assumptions are simply not true.
Camron just go do the polyamorous thing, or find yourself a black gay man with no self-respect and low self-esteem – there are many of those sashaying around.
I have nothing against bisexuals and I just think you are greedy, like Storm said. My best friend is bisexual, when he is single he bangs anything that moves – male/female/TG. When he is in a relationship, he focuses on that individual. He actually had an open relationship with a bisexual chick once and he was the one who got jealous. Ultimately, he says he wants to settle down with a dude, because the urge for gay sex overpowers all the others – for him.
Damn, ain’t never seen this crowd be so tough! Y’all ain’t playing today LOL. As crazy as it was, I enjoyed this interview, because we got to see another side of Mr. Storm. For real though, Camron, what u smoking son?
OK, I’m a bisexual male – been through a whole bunch of phases. Now I’m at the point where I want that strong, intelligent, conscious, honest brother. Guess what that means Camron? No more kitty-kat! Am I willing to do that? Hell yeah, for the kinda life I want. I think a lot of bisexual men, if they were honest, know deep down it is easier to give up chicks than dicks(my bad can we say that here lol). So, I am making a conscious choice to settle down with a black man.
Camron u ain’t gonna get what u want, just go find another greedy bisexual man and y’all have threesomes and orgies, or like they all said lower the bar. Go find urself a regular low self-esteem, DL or jailhouse hood dude, who ain’t got no concept of monogamy.
Ur crazy-azz wanting strong, intelligent, conscious, upwardly mobile and honest = DELUSIONAL 4 sho!!!
Dating bisexual men is fine as long as your just dating- dating to me is not a going to the chapel move, it’s a enjoying each other company thang- learn to date and find the true understanding of it.
people might be using the word “dating”, but Camron was talking about being in a committed relationship, not casual dating. Besides, a lot of people “date” with the view to making it something more serious.
I don’t think anyone said there was anything wrong with “dating” a bisexual, I think the issue is dealing with someone like Camron, who wants to have his cake and eat it too. So dating any kind of bisexual might be fine – for you, but there would be no point in me dating an individual if there was no possibility of it going somewhere. If I just wanted to hang out on a Saturday night, I would have a better time with friends.
Dating means different things to different people. For some it is just a polite way to say having sex(and maybe going out once in a while). For me it is about getting to know an individual, to see if there could be something more. So, that is the “true understanding of it”, for ME and most of my friends, because we are all ready to settle down. Who has time to waste on a hopeless situation?
What he fails to realize is his how he defines COMMITTED; and how everyone else uses it specially gay men. I think what he really wants is a Steady guy on stand by on the side. You can not commit to two different people giving them the time, attention, affection they need when they need it!
In society bisexuals will be open about and with there female partner. It is “rare” that a bisexual male will tell his female partner that he is bisexual and intends to still seek sex with men.
It’s like having a mistress and a wife. Who do you spend holidays with, who comes first in your life? The wife is shown off or at least presented to family and all and the mistress is kept on the down low. She is nothing but a steady fuck he can rely on! Sure there may be a mental connection, but there is no commitment.
I not down on bisexuals and I prefer a bisexual over a gay guy because Im not after a commitment. My motto is: Men don’t DATE men, they chill and hang out with them. They are nothing more and nothing less, than friends with benefits!
I co-sign to the part where you said – it is like having a wife and a mistress. That is what he wants.
Obviously, Cameron does not have his priorities in the right order. When a person has the desire to be in a relationship, they have been there, done that, worn the t-shirt and they’re done with it. That person knows what’s out there and wants something different than what he’s or she’s used to.
Cameron is not cooked, yet. He needs to do some serious soul-searching. Bisexual men are known to double-dip, which is a no-no! Gay men hook up with them, but they won’t commit to them because they bring too much drama. And the interview alone proves that theory. Unbeknownst to Cameron, he is teaching others how to treat him.
A committed relationship means that you want to have a deep connection, both sexually, emotionally, and intellectually. He doesn’t deserve a relationship. A person that deserves a relationship is a person that believes in monogamy and also wants to establish a bond before moving into sexual activity. Nobody wants to be consumed with the anxiety/paranoia of thinking if he’s with me, does he think about her and vice versa. Maybe I’m idealistic to most, but to the remainder of the population they know I’m telling the truth.
Play the field before committing. Better yet, he needs to treat others the way he wants to be treated. When you’re selfish with one, they may turn around and be selfish on you. How would that make him feel, if the game was switched on him? Something to think about.
This was a hilarious interview! I co-sign what Storm and the other readers are saying about his delusion. What’s honestly surprising to me is that he’s not interested in finding another married man to be in a “monogamous” relationship with. I know bisexuals who have considered and do do it that way. To me, it would appear to be the “best of both worlds” situation until one or more of the relationships hits a rocky phase or falls apart.
Well it’s some how greedy but i luv 2 date some one married
Oh wow this is funny. Clearly the issue is not at all about black gay men not being able to accept a bi man. First thought on reading this are greedy controllable self obsessed and delusional were the initial words that popped to mind. But I don’t really know you so you should not take offense and I mean no offense.
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander and the sooner you understand that the better. I would have considered dating you (if I was not aware of your list of conditions and limitations and control freakery – no disrespect) but you should realise that your conditions are not acceptable to most ‘sorted’ self respecting men of the type you are looking for. Anyone who goes into a relationship with lists of do’s and don’ts, can’s and cant’s, etc is not looking to learn and grow and explore and expose themselves to different and better.
I’m also very uncomfortable with the dishonesty the woman will be subject to – i.e. a relationship built on fundamentally dishonest principals. Where’s the respect and honesty and commitment and true love? This should set alarm bells ringing loudly to any man/woman that they too are the recipients of ongoing and constant brazen dishonesty and distrust in multiple ways and will likely be the last to find out something is wrong when it’s too late. Who’s to say perhaps something even dangerous and or life threatening rears its head from this.
Incidentally, I’m still not entirely sure why the man needs to be of a specific race and sexual orientation?
Good luck to you anyway. I genuinely wish the best for you and suspect that when you sit down and really imagine yourself in the shoes of the man and woman you want to be in a relationship with, you will realise it’s not fair at the very least.
P.S – I agree with much of your responses Storm.
I’m a friend of Camron’s he told me he had been interviewed by Black Gay Men’s Blog, so I came to check it out.
I don’t think Storm was harsh on him(as he told me) – he needs to hear this stuff. Camron, u are my homie from way back, but you need to grow up, when it comes to this relationship stuff. You have all these lists and rules, yet you lie to and cheat on everyone you are involved with. You stopped dating bisexuals because they were just like you – u cheated on them, they cheated on u. Now you want a gay man and an innocent sistah, whose life you are going to ruin.
Your excuse has always been you are just waiting for that strong black intelligent conscious hard-working brother, who gets you. Well, from what I’m reading the only ones who want you don’t sound that intelligent, they both only managed 1 sentence. You are not a bad guy, you just need help. I’m glad you came here, because I’m hoping this was a cry for help. Maybe when you read this interview(which you probably have, coz u ain’t answering ur phone), you’ll realize just how messed up and delusional you really are. I’ve been trying to tell you for years, but sometimes it takes strangers to do the job.
Please get some help and stop this madness. You can NEVER get the type of black man you crave so desperately. They are busy dating and loving men worthy of them.
Sorry, but you asked me to tell you what I thought when the interview was live!
To piggy back off what Chaz said, in my opinion anyone who makes a list of do’s/do not/can’s/can not (In my opinion) aren’t not seriously looking for a relationship. I feel that a relationship is created not found so if one is already committing certain aspects from a person where’s the time to find the good aspects?? Cameron I find it hard to believe that anyone would willing accept such terms that you set but you would be surprised what some people are into. I say this to get to the point that gay men do have love for the bisexual brother such as yourself, it’s just some of your standards that some of us don’t like. All in all, I hope you find what it is that you are looking for.
Even though this has made me think, I still don’t see what is so strange in wanting what I want. I am ONLY attracted to strong, intelligent, black MEN so why should I lower my standards? If black gay men really understood and had love for bisexuals, you would get it. Bisexuals need both and I will get both, but you have proved my point. I think black gay men need to stop having sex with men they don’t want then, coz most of y’all would bend over for me. If I’m so messed up why take the pipe and booty?
Jermaine – Do you – I ain’t mad atcha!
Storm – I know u left out some of the stuff and I owe u an apology for some of my inappropriate behavior. Can’t blame a brother for trying though. I got much respect for you, most of the others would have run with it.
Toddy – u been with more than 1 guy like me, so u already know u are fronting, you would raise your legs in a New York minute.
BKBiLocz – how long did it take u to get where u at?
For the record, I ain’t big on casual dating, which is why it bothers me that all black gay men want is my sex.
You want to lead a double life, deceive the woman into believing all you have is a commercial business out of the state when in fact you have all your business in another state. It was clearly stated by SKUNK1O1 you are looking to have both a wife and a mistress. Nothing wrong with what you are looking for, just don’t confuse that with a mature committed relationship.
Also, having sex is different from having a relationship and you know that well, so in case you may fail to realize, if men suck ya d!*k at corners, play you at the gym or fucked or get fucked by you easily that just means you are attractive, not relationship material, an that is why this is all you will get, good sex.
Sexism is your main disease my man, you need to come to terms to it, for real!
LOL Camron! You don’t even know me so I’ll not even argue with you about that.
Simple Truth
You represent Cameron, not all bisexual men; stop self-appointing yourself their spokesperson! Especially, if your going to promote untrue stereotypes! Their is a huge difference between a Bisexual man and a Greedy Bisexual Man.
What you are doing is no different than the countless guys who set up relationships all over town because they don’t want to have to sacrifice all their desires to be with one person.
People bending over for you means your attractive, not dating material. I am a bottom and their are plenty of versatile and top guys that I would have sex with but never a relationship.
The definition of insanity is doing the same actions over and over again but expecting different results.
Something to think about.
Most black gay men that i know don’t have any isssue with bisexual men. People having relations with both has been around a long time. That whole bisexual thing is a big front for him to have a man while he also messing around with a woman. Camron is a black man that want another black man. Its simple…..but he don’t want other man to look to anyone but him. He keeps hiding behind a label like it makes him a different. He wants a relationship with a gay man who is only devoted to him while he shacks up elsewhere from time to time. He has to think about how the other party may feel in that situation. Would Camron be as open about is bisexuality if he was seeking a relation with a woman.
My advice to him is to find a gay black male friend-wit-benefits, someone who is willing to accept the extracurricular activities or another bisexual man. I think the reason that he hasn’t found a steady situation is because the average person would consider to selfish.
Don’t place the blame solely on black gay men. There are black men out there looking for that COMMITTED relationship. He has to take some responsibility. If one wants a committed relation one has to be able to put in the same amount of effort. Relationships are about some kind of balance. A one sided situation is not a relationship. Please don’t take this for angry rant but as another opinion. I feel like you will still rationalize it somehow. Step outside of your comfort zone to consider this prospective other person.
I don’t know why i bothered to write this. Since i put a little effort in it, i will post in anyway. Camron don’t read this message. you won’t learn anything. it will all appear as words with no weight.
I would have definitely being attracted to Cam’ron but as far as handling him being bi-sexual, that would have deterred a long term relationship with me. I’ve been in a committed relationship for over 6 six years. In fact most of my situations have been what is to be considered long term. There are times I want to leave but I don’t. He’s not abusive but like any relationship we have our differences. He’s a beautiful, progressive, GOD FEARING brotha like myself. He’s a college grad like myself, upward mobile, etc. I require someone who is going to fight for me like I fight for him.
Cameron your a rarity in the fact that your successful confident and atleast trying to be socially conscious. But you make bisexuals look bad….i’m not gonna lie bisexuals have it harder than gays in someways. Ive only dated bisexuals (just by chance), and they were able to be with only me, i believe with bisexuals they may ask more sexually dating things but i have no problem doing what ever it is my boo needs for me to do to keep him happy….to an extent. Wanting kids and a family has nothing to do with your greed, you can have kids and a family with a guy and also their are women out there that also find bisexuals hot. I honestly feel your using your bisexuality as an excuse to double dip. I am and known many upwardly mobile intelligent and socially conscious black gay men and they generally don’t care about your bisexuality. What they do care about is monogamy and honesty and socially responsible behavior. Do you not feel its somewhat wrong for you to lie to that women and kids? yea guy HAVE been doing that forever but we as a society should grow and mature not stay the same.
Honestly I think maybe youve been to busy with work school/military to seriously sit and think about yourself and the world, but i think after some time of doing this you’ll see where we are coming from.
Camron,
Have you ever thought that a lot of Black Gay Men have a problem with just being gay men, and then there are those who just mentally don’t know how to deal with a mature bruh who really has something going for themselves, sometimes because of the jealousy factor and other times because they have never been really taught how to appreciate some of the finer things that life offers such as yourself… those who are not around you should be considered a blessing in disguise for you, not them. For what good would, or how would if benefit you to find someone who only wants to stick around for a month or two and then leave, for it would probably just remind you of the officer situation, even though he was transferred. Then on the other hand some bruhs have a problem with the fact that you are bi-sexual 1)because they may feel that you are “having your cake and eating it too”, 2)they may feel that they literally would be sharing you, and 3)may have a bigger problem which could consist of them “just not wanting to feel like they have settled down” which sometimes arises from them never really growing up from being a boy into a man on a mental level(couldn’t find a goal in life if it was taped on their nose in between their eyes). Wish you well in your endeavors and don’t sell yourself short for the right Black bruh may be closer than you think, or on the way!
Much love for ya and God’s speed.
Camron is the 0ne with the issues not black gay men,He will find the kinda guy he wants,but it won’t last….I don’t think any gay guy would want to share someone they Love with another person.In my experience Bi guys are the ones that don’t want to commit,they just want to hit it and quit it,maybe not all of them.When it comes to bi guy,its all about them,their wants and needs and desires,its NEVER about the other person,Things have to always go their way,today he’s hot tomorrow he’s cold,its like you are dealing with two different people with major mood swings,it’s never stable.I was involved with two bisexual men,the other one was married (I only found out later) and the other one was just living ‘lavida loca’ and I was just his fun thing on the side,it wasn’t real anyway.Thank God for growth but point of the matter is living a double life isn’t on because you are dealing with emotions and somebody’s bound to get hurt,My friend dated a bi guy for a year until he ditched him like a piece of trash and went back to the girlfriend Wtf is that??? Its selfish and cruel to love two people at the same time and than say I’m bi I gotta have both,it’s in my nature.
Cameron
You need to take a good look at yourself and what you are Saying! All your saying is that You think; Your attractive,on path for a career and in Your own mind you are god’s gift to men and women! You don’t understand why neither man nor woman are cuing up and throwing there self at your feet to Worship the ground you walk on!
Look at your interview and comments since. It’s all about YOU, what YOU want and what someone needs to do for YOU! You only want us to assume that what you ask for you will give in return. Smile…You ever stop to think that’s why a intelligent black sexual man gay or bisexual, doesn’t pursue you for nothing outside of sex. When they see and meet you in the flesh, they know your not the catch YOU think you are!
When a guy is self center and arrogant….settling for his dick or booty will win every time!In stead of thinking Gay men have the problem and you don’t chase a Bisexual who thinks as you do; maybe you need to take a long look at yourself!
Then you can admit that your a a Narcissist and that
in itself is not a crime. Some might say; it’s a personality disorder when a person thinks they are always right and it’s everyone else that has the problem!
Before you give your precious dick and booty up, try serving up your mind and personality BEFORE you even let a guy know Your interested in having sex with him. Laughing, it’s seems like after You do the deed you cry all they want is sex!
No black guy is going to remain chastised in one city waiting for Lord Cameron to come service him; when you live in another city with a female openly. He knows about her, you don’t tell her about him!
If you really were honest and think both be honored to have sex and have a relationship with you. Why do you have the need they live in separate cities or not in the same home.
Laughing because you want to be the target of there attention!
Hi Mr. Cameron, You are past being selfish: You are an egotistic, narcissistic, SOB. Yes, I will be judgmental. Who do you think you are, am I expected to stay at home while you are in some other state living the straight life, (because that is what it will be; you with your woman and kids)and I at home waiting for you. But wait. where is home, is it with me or with the woman. This is not the 60s because if I need and want sex I am not going to wait for someone who I know is screwing some woman and any other man who comes along. Your problem is deep down you know you are a whore, no negative connotations intended. You still have a long way to go in terms of accepting your sexuality a key hurdle in the coming out process. You are even more pathetic if you are using the woman D.L as a front for your business, using the excuse that black women don’t understand bisexual men. Excuses, excuses for your bad behavior. I suggest that you seek therapy to sort things out before you even consider any sort of relationship much less commitment.
Guys – stay clear, stay clear
Never the word love
What! Punk you say.
Nice article. Thanks
Okay, hella late, work’s been hectic, but just gotta say, this blog is amazing. Love the topics and the vibrant reader interaction.
This man is weak. Not greedy. Weak. I’ll explain by the end.
My take on this is that it was a fun waste of time. I have no patience for people who ask for help when they really aren’t ready for it. Kudos to Storm for sticking it out and telling this man what he needs to hear, I woulda just cut tape n folded up shop. LOL.
To reiterate the consensus, Camron, no one of success and self worth would settle for your unbalanced relationship. You get me, a wife, and offspring, and I only get you, in the spare time you can for me, and in secret no less because she cant find out. Get real.
The line about “having my heart,” is bullsh*t, actions speak louder than words. Also, if you think there’s some honor and agency afforded to the gay man by letting him in on the arrangement while she is kept in secret, you’re wrong. Him knowing only makes it easier for you to explain to him why you can’t be around, and he just has to accept it because he knowingly signed up for it – again no one who’s worth his salt would sign that dotted line.
Your biggest problem here is that you’re weak. You say you want a family. I’m assuming that means kids. Somehow only commenter “Me” has mentioned it – you can have a family – with a dude. You’re just scared of coming out as bi, so you want to settle for a heteronormative public life. If your only issues are that you need pussy from time to time, want kids, and have a stronger emotional connection to a strong man – your solution would be to settle down with a strong bisexual man openly, have kids (adopt, surrogate mother), and you two have a threesome with a woman when your dick needs it, there are many women out there willing.
Again, the real reason behind you not finding what you want, is that you’re too weak to come out, which makes you think you can solve the problem by greedily having both a str8 and gay life.
Best of luck in life.
Very interesting article! I will only say that I have been there done that before. I have dated guys like you Camron. I had low self esteem and didn’t really know who I was. When I realized who I am and what I deserved, I left brothas like you alone. I only pray that you find true happines and love.
Very interesting Blog n topic. I mean is Cameron for real? Does he really think that he can have his cake n eat it too? It is very degrading for a person to expect that of another human being. It seems like Caneron is using his sexual status as means to justify himself (we know the stigma attached to gay sex and its availability). Cameron has however taken it to another level. Well gues what brother – that shit don’t fly at all. I agree with most of the comments nade here and that you come accross as self centered. Its ok for you to be jealous about your male partner (I use the term partner very loosely) seeing others yet you expect your male partner to sit at home (and only you know for how long) before you come back “home” and act as if alls good. Have you given any thought to what this will do to your kid/s and your wifey when the truth surfaces? Believe me it will surface. You do realise that you would be married to the wife so legally she has more (actually all) rights and your gay partner has jack shit. You say your gay partner will have your heart, will he really? Do u really know the true meaning of being in a committed relationship? Let me spell it out to you – it simply means having a truthfuyl, honest and devoted relationship with just ONE person. I salute those brothers who wanted nothing more from you than casual sex cos that’s all you worth with the attitude and nind set you have. No self respecting person will settle for what you offering. Remember you talking about an independant and educated person who will not need you financially but emotionally but you unfortunately unable to offer the latter unconditionally. Cameraon my brother you good looking and I’m sure you won’t have a problem getting sex but you unfortunately will only get casual sex from the type of brother you looking to have a relationship with because of what you got to offer.
Wow, C…I was with you for the first few sentences. I also consider myself bisexual. I have the capacity to be physically and emotionally attracted to men and women. To me it is not the gender as much as the individual that attracts me. I was kind of hoping that what you were saying about getting with a gay brother while building a relationship with a woman who is completely (or so you think) in the dark about your own sexuality was a joke because it is a patently unfair arrangement for all involved–and I would venture to say that it would be unfair to you too. I can’t tell you how to run your thing, but it seems to me that unless you’re willing to offer what you require, you’re going to be short, bruh. I find that when I am looking to meet up with someone that frequently gay brothers don’t want anything to do with me and I respect that. I’m pretty much on the low with my own sexuality but I can’t see myself being as duplicitous as you describe in your ideal situaiton. Right now I an kicking it with a brother who also shares bisexual attractions. We made the decision that if we found it necessary to move on to another type of relationship with the opposite sex that we would respect each other and just discontinue our friendship. You can’t have your cake and eat it too without gaining a whole lot of unnecessary weight or getting diabetes…lol…But good luck to you, my brother.
Cameron,
As 22-year-old bisexual black man, I was excited to read this interview. I though you and Storm were going to address the issues that bisexual men face in the black community. But, I was disappointed and found myself getting angry with you. Livid would be a more appropriate emotion. Your situation sounds like someone who wants to reamain on the ‘DL’, not someone who lives their life totally out in the open. No one wants to be with a person who isn’t confident in who they are.
Hopefully, you pay attention to what the others have written. This many people can’t be wrong. Best of Luck.
Camron,
Think past the immediate. I understand that you have a business with branches in two states. So if you should be killed in an accident, who would inherit. The wife of course, because she is entitled to everything. She has your kids. The man in your life would get nothing even if you made provisions for him, because your wife could contest it and get everything. Can you honestly expect a man to pine away for you and know that nothing awaits him at the end of the journey? How committed do you think he will want to be knowing that a state or two over is your family? I cannot think that anyone would want to live knowing that. But I think that’s why you are looking for someone independent and upwardly mobile.
I just want you to know that I think you need to take some time and really sort out what you need and want in your life. It’s blatantly unfair to say that the man will have your heart and the woman will only have your body. In a committed relationship, both are necessary. Ask yourself, could you be the one kept on the side while your wife slept with another woman in another state? How would you feel staying home and taking care of the kids while she’s away on “business”? Or how would you feel waiting on the man that you “love” while he’s home with his wife and kids and can only get to you when he comes in town on business?
That’s all…Peace to you my brotha. Hope in some way this helps you.
I first said wasn’t going to comment but here I am. First I’d like to wish you well in your search Camron, my brother. I’m going to give this from a black gay man’s point of view who happens to have a good friend who is bisexual. You are a good looking guy and I’m sure you don’t have problems getting sex. But really you will unfortunately get only casual sex. From my understanding of being bisexual it is that you have the ability to be with a man or a woman at any time. Not both that’s cheating and to look at it in any way would be madness. Even Webster’s definition of the word bisexual is:
1
a : possessing characters of both sexes : hermaphroditic b : of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward both sexes
2
: of, relating to, or involving both sexes
In having conversations with my personal friend who is bisexual he says and i quote “i’ll date whoever loves me but I will never date both at the same time that’s just trying to me to much and I would be lying to myself and partner rather it be man or woman”
My response to that was i respect that. But you “C”, you just want that double life that contributes to the the bad name bisexuals get in our society. I don’t like what your trying to do. But since i don’t know you I will suggest that you date age 18-25 who is looking for that kind of relationship. Because I don’t think you will ever find a strong, conscious, aware, upwardly mobile, HONEST black man that your looking for. I do think you would find a good bed buddy. Plus if you die dude will get nothing but yet you make it sound like he would be your top dollar whore. Bottom line you will be much happier being with a dude from the sounds of things so go for it.
And be safe use condoms because the life you’re living or trying to live will put someone six feet under. Just my thoughts.
I just found this blog like two days ago and I love it. Reading some of these topics have made me think about a lot of things. I myself am a bisexual black man. Though I am young (20) I like to think I am mature. I am in a monogamous homosexual relationship for 2 yrs now. He is gay and knows i am bi. I have always been open about being bi even when I date girls. However, I have never ever cheated on any of my boyfriends or girlfriends so I find it insulting really when you say “bisexuals need both” that’s a cop out. As a bisexual, I define it as I am attracted to both men and women and whomever I fall in love with is who I will date. You should really stop using being bisexual as a reason why you want what you want because it just makes it hard for me to in the gay community. People tell my partner all the time that I must be seeing a girl on the side or that I will leave him for a girl. You want what you want so that you can cheat without feeling guilty though I can’t see how you wouldnt because you dont plan on telling the girl. Not going to lie, I used to think I wanted what you want but it was different… I wanted to settled down with a bisexual girl and we both have people on the side and be open with each other about it. However you don’t want that because you are selfish and I dont say that to be mean but it is what it is. There is no way you can say what you want is a committed relationship when you lying to your “wife” I agree when people say that there is nothing wrong with what you want as long as you are honest with both people about it and no is getting hurt. I beg though that you stop using the excuse of being bi to justify what you want because it makes it hard for other bisexuals in the LGBT community like me.
What Cameron wants is no different than any individual who wants a spouse/partner/significant other and a piece on the side. As others have stated, that exists, but perhaps not in the exact mold of the person Cameron wants. To each his own. I won’t pass judgement. But as a bisexual male, I take issue with the idea that it is an absolute necessity for me to have both a man and woman at the same time. Being bisexual means having an affinity for both and potentially being in a relationship with one or the other…but NOT simultaneously.
Being in a committed relationship with one person should be enough, but then you need another one on the side. Who wants to watch their partner go out the door to his other partner? Would you, Camron? Its hard enough to find that special someone then you’ve got to share them with another lover. Hell no!
Im sorry for coming in late on this discussion but I just found this site and it is great discussion.
I will first say that I am a 34 yo educated blk bi male. And I can agree with Cameron when he mentions that many people don’t understand the complexities of being bisexual. My story was quite unique when I came to the realization but that is another story.
What I don’t agree with is the way that he goes about having his relationships (or his mental imagery of what a relationship should be). Let me start by saying this, Cameron, you are a very nice looking brother and from the surface it seems that you are on point but there is nothing to be desired about how you view a relationship. Until I found out your ideologies, I would have jumped at the opportunity to date you. Here is where we differ:
1. I feel that you are looking for a gay male as opposed to a bisexual male because in many ways you will view a gay male as sexually subservient to you therefore creating a sense of need when really it is you that need to feel needed. That is obvious when you illuded to the fact that you can create a lifestyle for him (or “keep” him) when the reality is that anyone that passive would be difficult for you to commit to.
2. I feel that you have a warped since of what honesty is in a relationship. We all strive to have the family with kids and a white pickett fence (with a man or a woman) but in doing so honesty would be to let the person know what they are getting up front since you would be putting them both at risk (because if you want kids you will have to fuck raw at some point). Although you say that many black women are not ready for that, there are so many that are already on that page (I know because I have dated a few).
Personally I would date another bisexual man, as I have in the past, with these terms: that she knows that we are both bi. That we all get together and have sex all at the same time and we are all getting tested together. That way no one is in the dark. The reason I know this will work? Most women fantasize about having two big dick brothers dickin her down and as quite as it is kept women do get turned on by seeing me interact sexually (just as men are turned on with two women). Women are more freaks than you will ever know but you have to bring it out of them. and the minute she start resisting you, eat the pussy real good and she will forget all about the dick in your ass. (Ooops! Im telling too much about myself)…LOL
So Cameron, there are brothers who would date you if you give yourself permission to be more transparent and aquire the true taste for the word honesty (when applied to relationships). But you have to be ready…ready to change so you can have that life or ready to stay the same and continue you path to loneliness…but remember you are getting older and loneliness turns into bitterness and from the sound of your interview you are a day away from being bitter and jaded.
First I want to say best of luck to you Camron because I understand that YOU want things to follow what works best for YOU. Self preservation is primary. Don’t give up because the world is full of different types of black gay men.
However, I have a question for you.
Would you allow me to be your total TOP man and give me and only me your “booty” (lips, hips, and finger tips), and also only give your “wife” or girl your “pipe”.
That would seem fair since I get no other man but YOU, and she gets no other man but YOU. I can’t speak for her but I will be totally satisfied since I do not want your pipe (just your lips, hips, and finger tips) and according to you she should be satisfied also.
Now in this scenario I give up any other male booty or anything, and so do you…..(great sacrifice)…..
but I wonder if now you will tell me you want male booty also and I say that “she” your wife must fulfill all your “insert penis here” needs.
Benefit to keep in mind…..your money responsibilities are lighter because she may want a provider I do not.
Waiting on your answer cause that’s what would work best for “ME”.
Hmm…wow. Interesting man, that’s for sure. I’m sorry Camron, but I don’t think I could do it! Well, I definitely couldn’t date *you* considering the fact that you are significantly older than myself, who happens to be only 21, but still.
If a man who was near my age, happened to be bisexual and took an interest in me, I would never, *ever* turn him away simply because he is attracted to both genders. Heck, even I find myself attracted to certain types of women though I consider myself “same gender loving”. If he was sincere and caring, he could most definitely be able to have my heart and be the only one I gave love, affection, time and adoration to. However, I am almost positive that I could not and would not date him, if it were his intention to date me as well as a woman on the side. I simply could not do that to her, especially of she were a Black woman (I love my sisters). All of the ducking, hiding, lying…it would all surely get in the way of true love. I want someone who will be devoted to me 100%…just like I would be devoted to him 100%. I love my bisexual brothers and have all the respect in the world for them. I have respect for you, Camron. You may or may not ever find what you are looking for. Only God knows, really. But I hope you come to understand that not all of us hate or are phobic of bisexual men. I don’t hate you. I don’t judge and have a live and let live attitude. But personally, I just think I’m far too sensitive to deal with that kind of stress lol. BUT if someone like you were willing to make the sacrifice…then I promise that I would be all that they ever needed, do everything in my power to make them happy and content. I mean no disrespect.
Sorry to chime in months too late, but someone does need to set greedy bisexuals straight. He set a standard by saying he wanted the freedom to sleep with his woman and a dude, but that dude has to be COMPLETELY faithful to him. Everything about Cam’s statements were completely equivocal and flat out evil. I had a beautiful man once who told me, “I want you AND her.” I told him, “HELL NO! You better choose, ‘cuz you only get ONE.”
Contrary to popular belief, gays DO NOT HATE BISEXUALS! We’re wary of them, but we don’t hate them. We don’t like people who say that we have to compete concurrently with women in a relationship. It’s nothing short of full on IDIOCY for a bisexual brother to EXPECT a well-to-do gay brother to just roll over and be some urequited, down-low lover/personal he-hoe that lives across state lines from your “baby mama” or wife. Storm was right; get yourself someone with low self-esteem because a good brother won’t stand for that sh*t!
Several things Cameron says clash like waves in a storm ocean: he doesn’t want a bi-guy because the bi-guy might have someone else and Cameron would get jealous. He clearly doesn’t accord to the woman he’d be with that SHE would be jealous knowing he had a(nother) man on the side. What about her feelings? Is he justifying lying as part of “commitment”? Clearly he is. So, we now have someone who is a liar.
Then he says he would “be there” for his male lover. What if the lover had a heart attack on Christmas day, when he’s (presumably) at dinner with his woman? Would he leave her to be with his male partner at the hospital? Methinks ….NO.
Then he claims Storm is being judgmental. Yet, he himself judges the gay brothers who won’t date him. The (black) pot calling the (Black) kettle BLACK? Inconsistent argument.
And, while being bisexual means one has attractions to both sexes, it does not necessarily supercede the human desire to have someone of your own. He wants not only the attractions, but the relationship — simultaneously — with both. It’s no different than a heterosexual man who has a wife and mistress. Usually, the wife bolts when she finds out because she’s devastated. So, he’s siding with a man at the expense of the woman, meaning that psychologically, he believes a man will tolerate things a woman won’t, yet he’s still willing to destroy the psyche of another human being so he can have what he wants. That’s flat-out
dangerous: he’s playing with fire. Yet he sees nothing “wrong” with it.
I can only conclude his moral code is yet so unformed that he is creating a whole new code of behaviour in his mind. Not quite pathological yet, but very close to it.
And for the record, Cameron: jealousy is a sign of insecurity, which means your life growing up was not a safe environment, else you’d have the desire to also provide a safe environment for you loved one, whoever he — or she — is.
Dang Mr. Cam-ron, they all told you! LOL. This is my first time coming to this site and this interview was amazingly funny. I really can’t expound on what the majority have already so eloquently stated, but Camron you are indeed funny. I am 28 years old, I have a MBA, I’m talented in the arts, and told regularly that I’m attractive. There is no way in hell that I would abide by your set of rules for a relationship and I AM one of the ones you state you would like to “settle down with”. As others have said it has absolutely nothing to do with you being bisexual. In fact I find bisexuality kind of hot, so that’s not an issue. The issue is you. And from your responses, I’m pretty doubtful of the successes you claimed you’ve had. At the very least being a prosperous business owner would require common sense and you seem to be lacking greatly in that. Also, I don’t know if that picture is you. If it is you are very attractive, but there are a million other attractive men out there. Your looks do not set you that much apart too much from anyone else so please don’t get it twisted. Hypothetically speaking, why would I, a young, intelligent, talented and attractive man settle to be in a relationship with someone who has me in an “arrangement” where I have to be kept and hidden from the wife and kiddies and get absolutely no benefits from the relationship? Funny indeed. And on top of all that, you wouldn’t even date someone remotely similar to yourself, so why do you think anyone would want you or at the very least take you seriously? Yes, you are only a piece of dick and ass. Sorry to say. As others have said, set the bar lower….way lower.
I really do not understand this guy. Being with someone who is bisexual is the same as commiting yourself into an “open relationship”. The gay guy Cameron talks about is exptected to accept the fact that Cameron has sex with women which for me is the same as being involved and having sex with other men. I can understand that they say no. I would too. An extra factor to this is that women can become pregnant which makes the relationship even more complicated.
I understand that gay men are not willing to invest in this with all these risks.
Admittedly, I’m in the “no love” camp but not due to prejudice or any stereotype, but simply because I’m the polar opposite of those guys who are titillated by the idea of a guy being into women, which is likely part of the straight guy fantasy – I personally find the idea of a guy lusting for women to be a turn-off. If the guy is hot enough, I may be able to ignore that hangup temporarily, but definitely not long-term.
Maybe the moderator and other readers will think this is too forward, but, dude, you’re nearly 40 — time to grow up. You talk about sex and romantic relationships like a middle-schooler. This interview leaves a strong impression that your personal immaturity is at the base of your sexuality and romantic relationship issues.
I’d never date a bi guy. Cameron your delusional,hypocritical and selfish. I read this and looked to see whether it was a joke,you Cameron want,the cake,the party,and all the gifts, you don’t offer nothing to a gay man or that woman that you would be involved with. What make you think a gay man would want to deal with you and your drama? I personally would think your going to leave me for that woman,or another dude, because in my mind if you can be with me and a woman, why wouldn’t you have another man and woman somewhere else,Guys like you are to weak to stand and be with a man,Your the type of guy like all bi guys who feel they have to have women to be a so called real man,sex with you sure,maybe anything beyond that you can hit them bricks.
The greatest principle I always live by is ‘never to jugde’ and I must say, Camron is a very honest, decent and desperate for love man.
Yes, black gay men find it difficult to understand where this grey zone comes from because you’re either gay or straight.
Camron’s point is, why black gay men don’t want to be loved and committed to by a man like him? He’s not saying, put up with all my crap but love me enough to respect my demands and I will also respect yours but getting involved with another will not be tolerated.
Obviously, being bisexual means he will also have a girlfriend and whoever gets involved with him must accept that fact but you (gay guy), you’re gay and you should only be with him.
I’m a gay brother, had a guy just like Camron and our relationship was a great success until he was taken by a car accident after six and a half years of joy, happiness and love and I never once seen anybody else up until now and its been 7yrs since his death and he was my very first.
I hope Camron you ended up finding that guy. If not, head down to South Africa, there you will find me.