black gay men and HIV - do we care

Do black gay men care enough about HIV and what role should we be playing in the fight against HIV and AIDS?

sexy black muscle stud Akira Jyn

chocolate muscle stud Akira Jyn brings some eye-candy to the blog

black gay men homophobia and the black church

Black Gay Men's Blog looks at homophobia in the Black Church and asks how black gay men balance their sexuality with homophobic teachings of our churches. Is it possible to lead a fulfilling life as both a christian and a black gay man?

black gay male escort\'s true story - crystal meth addiction, bareback sex, AIDS and depression

A retired black gay male escort tells a story of prostitution, crystal meth and alcohol addiction, anger, depression, AIDS, bareback sex and self-hatred.

black gay men and PrEP as HIV prevention

Black Gay Men and PrEp - would you take a pill to prevent you from contracting the HIV virus?

black gay incest and sexual abuse - LaDarrell\'s story

Black Gay Incest & Sexual Abuse: LaDarrell Speaks. Black Gay Men's Blog explores a world of incest, sexual abuse, family dysfunction and survival.

black men on the DL and HIV - Robert Wesley Branch Show

The Robert Wesley Branch Show Discusses Black Men on the DL and HIV.

Black Men on the DL and HIV

The Dangers of Blind Hook Ups

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black gay men and the dangers of anonymous hook-ups

Black Gay Men’s Blog Contributor and Author, Rafael Solece, explores the dangers of blind hook ups and the rise of violent crimes against black gay men. Are we as black gay men being to callous about our own safety? Do we as black gay men think that because we are men we are immune to violence? Do we consider the possible consequences of anonymous sex or are we blinded by the thrill?

Hooking up online, at parties, at bars, at the grocery store, at the gym and parks: is all normal business practice for a lot of gay men. We do it with exuberance and an overwhelming sense of callousness. After all it’s  exciting: that thrill you get when you meet a “tall, dark, and handsome” or ”short, muscular, and aggressive” man, and take him home or follow him back to his place, and grind your body against his with the aggression of a raging bull. Hell, I am getting hot just thinking about it.
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Brotherhood TV’s Amir: A Passionate New Voice

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black gay men's blog interviews Amir from Brotherhood TV

Black Gay Men’s Blog recently interviewed Amir, the 21 year old, co-founder of Brotherhood TV, the new weekly web series, aimed at gay and bisexual black men and men of color. Every now and then, a young black gay man comes along, who totally dispels the myth that all young black gay men are disrespectful, brain-dead, sex-crazed, empty shells on a fast road to hell(or death). Amir is one such young man. He has a good head on his shoulders and cares about the black community, his own life and his fellow young black gay men. Instead of just sitting around complaining, like a lot of us do, he and the other members of Brotherhood TV, are doing their bit to effect change and get young black gay men talking. I can’t describe the pride I felt, while talking to Amir, he was like a breath of fresh air and I could feel that he truly believed in what he was saying. There is something very refreshing about engaging with younger black gay men, who have such passion and aren’t totally consumed by the culture of me, as I like to call it.

I interviewed Amir on Skype and it was more like having a good conversation with a friend. We talked about Brotherhood TV, masculinity, HIV, sex, relationships, monogamy, his hopes for more unity among black gay men, the effects of porn(if any) on the sexual choices we make, the whole no fats/no fems thing, sexuality, coming out and even…..Barbara Walters! Brotherhood TV was launched in July 2011, so please check them out and support Amir and his brothers, by spreading the word. He might only be 21 years old, but some older black gay men could learn a thing or two from Amir. It is great to see young brothers with the courage to live their truths and the willingness to effect positive change in the community.
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Black Gay Men In The Media : Where Do We Fit In?

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black gay men on reality tv - Derek J

Black Gay Men’s Blog contributor, Angel Cruz, explores the images and representation of black gay men in the media and particularly, on Reality TV. In this age, where airing one’s dirty laundry in public can lead to a fat pay check, national notoriety and business opportunities, for those savvy enough to understand the concept of branding, are black gay men adequately and fairly represented? Are the networks solely interested in portraying us as outrageous and flamboyant types, because it makes great TV, or could the fact that not so many black gay men are “out” enough, to be willing to bare all on television come into play? Would the black gay men, who sit at home and complain that the flamboyant characters on television are nothing like them and their friends, be willing to live out their more masculine and regular black gay lives for all the world to see? Are there enough black gay men on Reality TV and are the characters representing us, or simply being themselves? What is it about some of the more outrageous and flamboyant types, that makes some of us uncomfortable? If Reality TV is supposed to be somewhat real, is it fair, or realistic, to expect every character to represent the community, instead of just being themselves – keeping it real? If the majority of us would not dare put all our business out there, do black gay men really have a valid complaint, when it comes to Reality TV and should the networks cast more black gay men, that are really like “us”, whatever that is?………..Intro by Storm

Black Gay Men & Reality TV – Where Do We Fit In?

Over the past 5 years the GLBT community has become more and more visible. On TV in film and in music we have become more and more mainstream being recognized for everything we do both good and bad. We have announced our presence to the world with two television networks (Here! and Logo) and they have taken notice. However, not all of us are as celebrated as our GLBT brethren. Many of us are still stuck in the corner of the closet while our counterparts enjoy the limelight. While there are characters that, in many cases represent a range of GLBT people it most often seems that gay men of color are missing and the few portrayals there are seem to be the most extreme and outlandish segment so much that it almost borders on parody.  The most common culprit of this is reality -based TV.

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E.L.I. Presents Indulgence: Atlanta Black Gay Pride

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atlanta black gay pride - Indulgence Sensory Overload

Atlanta’s Black Gay Pride is here again and that means tons of black gay men flocking to ATL and taking over the airport, hotels, bars and clubs, streets, Piedmont Park, jails(yes it happens) and everywhere else. Wherever you turn, this weekend in Atlanta, there will be black gay men and hopefully, some of them will get a chance to check out Indulgence…… A Sensory Overload. Brought to you, by the Evolution Leadership Institute(E.L.I.), Indulgence is a free event, targeting black gay and bisexual men from the ages of 18-28. Donations will be accepted for AIDS Walk 2011 & 5K Run, the largest AIDS fundraising event in the South-East. Indulgence promises to tantalize and tease your senses with various forms of entertainment, aromas and décor, and delicious desserts and treats.
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Black Gay Men and Fat Discrimination: Jackson’s Story

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black gay men and fat discrimination

Black Gay Men’s Blog looks at fat discrimination in the black gay community, through the eyes of Jackson, a handsome, obese, thirty-two year old, black gay male. Fat bias or discrimination is by no means limited to  black gay men or the gay community at large. However, for brothers like Jackson, the discrimination seems especially painful, seeing as the black community is generally seen as being more accepting of bigger people. Black men are said to have an affinity for those with “meat on their bones”, fat black women, affectionately referred to as thick (even when they are morbidly obese), still seem to get lots of attention from straight black men. So how come that appreciation for the fuller-figured form doesn’t seem to have crossed over to black gay men? In this age of no fats, no fems, how does the discrimination and alienation affect black gay men, like Jackson? What is it like to be shunned by other black gay men simply because of one’s weight? What happens when a black gay male goes from fat (and still able to be an object of desire for those with a big boy fetish) to undeniably obese? To what lengths will one go to satisfy the need for sex, after being rejected countless times? Are black gay men really that turned off by fat, or are some of us simply ashamed to admit our attraction for and sexual dalliances with larger brothers?
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I.K.P. Out Hip Hop Artist on Papi Chulo Radio

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out gay hip hop artist I.K.P.

This is a Black Gay Men’s Blog heads up – out,  gay and HIV positive Hip Hop and spoken-word artist, Kenny Alvarez, better known as I.K.P. (The Infamous King of Positivity) will be on The Papi Chulo Show, tonight, August 24,  at 10pm EDT. The Brooklyn born, Norfolk, VA raised,  Florida resident is currently working on the release of his official full-length debut album, Ignoring The Known Protocol. His single, Let It B. Known received an Out Music Award Nomination and is currently available on Itunes, Rhapsody and Amazon – along with The Poetry of Color and  The Infamous Bandstand. Read More

Being Black Gay Men and Nurturing Our Authentic Selves

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black gay men and being our authentic selves

Black Gay Men’s Blog explores an issue faced by many younger black gay men – embracing one’s sexuality and the black gay scene, while still remaining one’s authentic self. As Black Gay Men’s Blog grows and our readership includes even more younger black gay men, than it did at the beginning, I find myself having more online and Skype conversations with some of our younger readers. Certain questions keep popping up and we will try and address the more common questions and concerns, right here on the blog. Coming out and embracing one’s sexuality often involves a new circle of gay friends and associates, discovering the black gay scene and trying to be more comfortable with who we are, as black gay men and whatever that means to each individual. As with any other group, young black gay men often feel the need to belong to this new “family” of friends and associates. It can become a juggling act, trying to embrace this newfound lifestyle, while remaining one’s authentic self. We are suddenly thrown into this new world, which, sometimes, appears to have its own language, mannerisms and code of conduct. It is no surprise, that many younger black gay men are left confused and wondering if the person they have become is really them. Are they being true to self, or have they simply replaced one set of rules for another and become who they think they are supposed to be? Read More

Are Black Gay Men Honest When It Comes To Sex

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black gay men and honest - why do we lie about sex?

Black Gay Men’s Blog Contributor, AntycingGent, recently published an article on his blog, Unorthodox Wisdom and he wanted to share it with readers of Black Gay Men’s Blog. AntycingGent’s blog post brings up an issue we have mentioned a few times – black gay men and honesty, with regards to our sexual practices. We all know that a lot of men out there are less than honest, when it comes to sex, but this made me wonder if certain online forums make some of us more “cautious”. I haven’t really encountered that many black gay men, who wouldn’t admit to sex on the first date or anonymous/random sex, but he does bring up a valid question. Do we (black gay men) keep certain aspects of our sexual life secret for privacy, or as a result of shame and fear? I think most people on this blog are quite honest, but when we do withhold information, or lie online(to strangers), is it out of a fear of being judged? If so why do we assume we would be judged by people, who the rest of the world would view as being just like us and with whom we share a common struggle?

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Black Gay Men’s Blog Getting A Face Lift

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Black Gay Men’s Blog is currently being worked on, apologies for any inconvenience caused while we make some changes to the blog. We are trying to get it done as quickly as possible and we will try not to put the blog in maintenance mode for too long, but it will be necessary every now and then, over the next couple of days.

Thanks for your support.

Black Gay Men and HIV: Do We Care Enough?

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black gay men and HIV - do we care enough

Black gay men and Black MSM have been in the news again recently, which usually means the words HIV and STDs aren’t far behind. The almost 48% surge in new HIV cases among young black gay men (in the 13-29 year age group) is troubling – not only to the CDC, but to all those who find the alarming number of black gay men seroconverting particularly bothersome. HIV numbers as a whole, have remained quite stable, however among black MSM, the number has almost doubled. Yet, when this subject is broached in the company of black gay men, apathy still seems to be the order of the day. Some of us continue to pay lip service, saying what we think are the right things, but true conviction comes from our actions. Sadly, this appears to be lacking. Black Gay Men’s Blog is asking all of us to take a good look at our lives and our actions and ask ourselves – do we care enough about HIV and AIDS? Do our lives and the lives of other black gay men mean anything to us? What are we prepared to do to fight this pandemic in our community? What responsibility do older black gay men and HIV positive black MSM have, when it comes to the lives of younger black gay men? What does the fact that a large number of young boys and young men are becoming HIV positive really say about us? What can we, both as individuals and as a community, do to educate and raise self-esteem in our younger brothers?

As I posted on the Black Gay Men’s Blog Facebook Page, prior to publishing this article, I’m not feeling particularly politically correct and this is something I am very passionate about. Too much editing would take out all the passion, so if you are one of those, who find it difficult to understand the bigger picture, are easily offended, or you choose to reside (mentally) somewhere, other than planet earth, then please skip this article. The purpose of this article is to get us to think about our lives and the lives of our younger men, not to debate whether or not the figures are made up to make us look bad, or some other conspiracy theory based argument. If you need proof, go to your local hospital or AIDS Service Organization. No one is here to bash younger black gay men, nor is anyone suggesting that HIV isn’t an issue for those above 29. I know a handful of black gay men in their late 30s and 40s, who have seroconverted within the last 2 years, so let’s not get too comfortable and start thinking only younger black gay men are high risk. Read More

Lessons In Black Gay Love Part One – James and Byron

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lessons in black gay love - black gay men's blog

Black Gay Men’s Blog welcomes James and Byron, a black gay couple, to kick off a little series we are calling Lessons in Black Gay Love. We will be inviting black gay couples, in long-term relationships, to share their tips and advice on making relationships and love work. There’s no doubt that relationships (of any kind) require love, trust, commitment and work, in order to survive. Relationships between two black gay men can often have additional layers, as I like to call them, but we often only hear about the negative, making long-term black gay relationships seem impossible. A few months ago, I started chatting with and interviewing black gay couples, who have been together for 5 years and more(I have now dropped that to 3 years), hoping we can all learn something from them, when it comes to making black gay relationships survive. We will try and cover different areas with each couple, but there are bound to be some common aspects. Lessons in Black Gay Love can also be applied to other relationships(for our non-black and heterosexual readers), but we will focus on the dynamics between two black gay men.

James, who is 48, and  Byron(42) have been together for eight years and currently live in Philadelphia. They bought a house there 2 years ago, to escape the stress of New York and to start planning a family(as in kids) together. I spent a day with them at their house in Philly, after having lunch with them with in Brooklyn, NY(where they still have a home). James comes across as the quieter of the two and Byron as the more out-going – that is, until you get to know them a little better. Byron moved to New York, from Jamaica, when he was 18 and James is a native New-Yorker, born and raised in Brooklyn. After just 10 minutes with these two, it is quite apparent how solid their relationship is and how much love and respect they have for one another. I kept repeating the word, “solid”, in my head over and over again. They are have both done quite well for themselves, in terms of career and finance. Byron, the more adventurous of the two, has been self-employed for the last 5 years. His success as an internet marketer and graphic designer inspired James to finally leave the corporate world behind(last year) and they are now both self-employed. Read More

July Slow Down On The Blog

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black gay men's blog

July was a slow month on Black Gay Men’s Blog, I had a lot of business and personal stuff going on. Unfortunately, that meant there wasn’t enough time to devote to the blog. Now that a lot of the major work stuff for the summer is out of the way, there will be much more time to devote to Black Gay Men’s Blog. Just wanted to keep you guys in the loop and I look forward to a much busier August, September and beyond.

As always, I appreciate all the support and welcome your input and suggestions. If you haven’t done so already, please come join Black Gay Men’s Blog on Facebook. Hope you are all having a great, productive, healthy and fun summer. Thank you for being a part of the Black Gay Men’s Blog community.

Black Gay Men Confronting Black Homophobia

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black gay men and confronting homopobia

Black Gay Men’s Blog looks at the way we react, when faced with blatant homophobia, in the midst of  members of the black community. It is one thing to voice our opinions online, on blogs and social network sites, but how do we REALLY behave when homophobia stares us in the face. As black gay men, do we care if the homophobic abuse is directed at other black gay men? What about when we are faced with homophobia directed towards white gay men, by one of our own – do we react or say nothing? When faced with homophobia from members of the black community, is it more important for black gay men to appear to be straight/in cahoots, at the expense of our self-esteem, or should we stand up and say something? As they say on the New York City subway, if you see something, say something – does this apply to black gay men, when dealing with homophobic members of the black community?

What brought this all on was a trip on the G train(nyc subway) last Monday. I was heading to the Boerum Hill neighborhood of Brooklyn and I got on the G train at Bedford-Nostrand, minding my own business, as most New Yorkers do. I noticed a somewhat attractive brother and we did the black man acknowledgement, “I see you” nod thing. Before we even got to the next stop, I noticed he was getting increasingly agitated, his body language was all tense and weird and he was visibly shaking. I looked towards the direction he was facing and saw that he was staring at a gay couple – white. The brother became increasingly agitated and his body language became quite intimidating, to the extent that I decided to move a few seats over. At this point, he had ceased being attractive, in my eyes. I knew some madness was about to happen and I didn’t wish to be tarred with the same brush, because he kept looking at me, like I was supposed to join in the intimidation. He hadn’t said anything to the gay couple at this point, just grunting and staring, but let’s be honest, some of us(black men) know how to intimidate without saying a word. Especially, when it comes to white folks (yeah I said it, what?). Some of us have mastered the art of putting the fear of God in them, when it suits us. We know they often see us as aggressive and sometimes, we play on it. This was one of those times, so I moved, I wasn’t going to sit there and be part of the let’s make white gay men terrified brigade. Read More

Black Gay Friendship, Loyalty and Indiscretion

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black gay men, friendship, loyalty and indiscretion

This is -  What Would You Do? – Black Gay Men’s Blog edition. As you guys know, I get quite a few emails asking for advice and there is a recurring question I get asked, which involves friendship, loyalty and (in)discretion. I have also had this discussion with a few friends and associates, so I am turning the question over to you guys – What Would You Do? Friends are family to many gay men and with all that many black gay men have been through, our closest and dearest take on the roles often attributed to siblings. So, when I use the word “friend”, in this article, I am referring to that person who is always there and going to be there for you. I am not referring to the new, flimsy, BFF du jour, announced on social networks, like teenagers, who will be hated in 6 months time. I am talking about the friend you have known for years, who is closer to you than any blood brother could be. The one you share everything with (or almost everything), who knows you inside out.

What would you do, if you went to an associate’s house (or someone you just know socially, but isn’t close) and found your closest friend’s man there, in a compromising position? The two have just finished having sex and your friend’s man begs you not to tell. He says it was just a one off thing and he really wants to be with your friend, whom we’ll call Maurice. He tries to convince you how much he loves Maurice, swears it was a one-off thing and will never happen again. What would you do? Would you tell Maurice or keep it to yourself and warn lover-boy (Ty) that if you ever hear about anything  like that again, you are telling? Maurice is very much in love with Ty and they have been together for 8 months, supposedly in a committed relationship. Do you squeal or do you stay silent? Read More